Let’s start out with a shout out to April W for the suggestion to focus on relationships this week. It has been a fun topic to dive into.
Relationships cover both friendships and intimate relationships and for the sake of this article I will be touching on both. The question posed to me was how we can not only initiate relationships but also move beyond the mindsets that once defined what was expected. There was a caveat for those who were once in highly controlling religions about no longer feeling like you need to report to anyone else about what happens in your relationships and feeling OK with being happy.
There are four different types of relationship. There are family relationships through blood or adoption, friends, acquaintances and lovers or romantic relationships. We are going to leave family for now and dive into the other three.
Humans are social creatures. We have a basic need for connection and belonging. As children so many of us made friends with people who sat next to us or who lived near us. If we were part of a religion, we found people to hang with at church or hall. As adults or now that we are not linked through religion, it is not as easy make those bonds and any attempts seem to be awkward.
So how do we now move beyond our former mindset and feel OK about being happy? Well once you have done that inner work and continue to grow and heal then the desperate need to be accepted by those who seek to control you disappears. You have built your confidence and taken ownership of your self-worth. There is no longer a need to share intimate information with people who have no business in your relationships, and you can feel more relaxed in the safety of your own self assurance and happiness.
In my experience, many people who are looking for deeper friendships already have a large circle of friends. Take a moment to consider who you enjoy talking to and consider what would help those friendships grow.
How does this information shift your perspective on relationships?