How often have we heard the word resilience in the past year? In difficult times we are expected to have this illusive thing called resilience. What is it? How do we bring it into our lives?
Psychology Today defines resilience as, “the psychological quality that allows some people to be knocked down by the adversities of life and come back at least as strong as before. Rather than letting difficulties, traumatic events, or failure overcome them and drain their resolve, highly resilient people find a way to change course, emotionally heal, and continue moving toward their goals.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/resilience .
I had an opportunity to create a presentation on resilience to a group locally. I asked the participants prior to the session to define what resilience meant to them personally. Many used words like survival, persistence, and putting up a good fight. Others described it as a bouncing back, a sense of refocusing, patience and adaptation. It is interesting to see these two perspectives. So, what is behind the difference in how we relate to resilience? The short answer is intention.
When we are in a challenging situation and our intention behind resilience is FEAR, we have a fight and survive response. We tend to be closed and protective of ourselves and those close to us and we rely on how we have always managed challenging times. When our intention within a challenging situation is to approach it with CURIOSITY then we tend to use the language of opportunity, bouncing back and growth. Here we tend to be more open and searching for new ways of adjusting to a challenge. There is more a sense of choice here.
Some individuals are more naturally resilient even after living extremely challenging lives. Others can feel trapped in what feels like an unending loop with the same challenges and reactions – kind of like a looping Ground Hog Day. Resilience that lifts us out of this loop can be cultivated by shifting the thought patterns or intentions that we naturally go to when we are presented with challenges.
If you are interested in finding out more about how to create resilience in your life please contact me for details on this live workshop on April 24, 2021 at 3 pm Eastern Time (Toronto, Canada). I will be providing this for no cost for this one time and then as a recorded workshop in the Listening Tree Academy as a self study.