Fear - Flip the Coin

Humans along with all animals on the planet are hard-wired to respond to threats by freezing, fleeing or fighting.  It is part of our natural survival behaviours.  Sometimes fear is useful to us when we find ourselves in dangerous situations and these automatic behaviours just kick in.  Sometimes they are a hindrance when our fears are deemed irrational, like fear of a dark closet or of leaving our house when there is no reason not to.
 
What we are afraid of can be highly personal depending on our life experiences.  It can also be influenced by the fear of others. Presently there is a tonne of information flowing out there and it is difficult to be sure of what to believe and what to take seriously.  We may have our internal red flags and sirens going off with no reassurance of what to attend to.  Being a person who has come out of a religious organization that based their whole teaching on fear, I know how challenging it is right now to get a foothold on what to do.   The temptation is to freeze and be immobilized.   
What is fear?  The Oxford Dictionary defines it as, “the bad feeling that you have when you are in danger or when a particular thing frightens you”
To keep fear from overwhelming me in a situation I think back to the Litany of Fear from Frank Herbert’s Dune:
 
"I must not fear. 
Fear is the mind-killer. 
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. 
I will face my fear. 
I will permit it to pass over me and through me. 
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. 
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." 
 
Throughout history, fear has been used to control or incapacitate a population.  We have seen that in wars, religions and relationships.  Fears become incapacitating in times of panic whether it is orchestrated or a natural response to a given situation.  To no longer be controlled by fear we need to find ways to let is pass over, around and even through us.   
So how do we flip this coin and have an appropriate level of caution yet keep our rational minds and humanity? 

• Find a reputable source of information 
  • Facebook and other social media are NOT places to get vetted information.  Find a source that you trust and is backed by research and data
• Find creative ways to stay connected
  • There are so many ways to stay connected with people these days with phones, Facetime or live chats with Skype, Zoom and so many others.  
  • If you live in a city talk with people on your front porch, down the hall or from your balcony.
  • Help others understand what you find helpful in a conversation and what you don't.
  • If a subject is causing you to feel fearful or anxious then articulate that. It is also ok to end conversations that are not helpful for you. 
    • Create groups on line 
      • Virtual book club or choir c on Skype or Zoom or Facebook Messenger
      • If you have a skill create a Facebook live lesson on your craft or skill
      • Create a recipe exchange group for your region or for the world
• Self-Care
  • Do more of the things that feed your soul
    • I understand that there may be limits with facilities closing.  Be creative.  What is a whole new way to do some activities?
      • An example was skating for me when I was a youth.  I had only so much ice time so I would practice my steps and posture in the front hall in a small space, imagining the glides.  
  • Get outside in the sun and fresh air.  
    • With social distancing this can feel like it is difficult to do if you live in an apartment building, but I am sure people would be ok if they had the elevator to themselves
    • Use a wipe or damp cloth with cleaner to clean the buttons before and after you touch them or wear the inexpensive winter gloves when out
    • Consider using the stairs or offering to get off and catch the next elevator if someone else is in a rush.  There are ways if you are patient. 
  • Sleep
    • Get a full nights sleep and for adults that means 7-10 hours
    • Getting enough sleep is a great way to boost your immune system and support you in dealing with stress and overwhelm.

• Help your neighbours
  • If you can get out but others can’t, offer to pick something up for them
  • Help out where you can – you don’t have to get close to people to help out
  • Accept help too because that encourages others to be kind

1. Take this time to do the things you never had time to do
   • Just like anyone I have a list a kilometre long of things I would like to do but never had time to do.  Pick one thing to start that doesn’t cost anything and run with it.  

 
Be kind to yourself.  Be considerate of others.  We are globally in this together and together we can get through this.  When we let fear bypass us we keep our heads and manage what really matters.  

If you need someone to help you through this time please feel free to connect with me for an Additional Support Session. 
 

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=psychology+of+fear
https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/fear_1?q=Fear
https://dune.fandom.com/wiki/Litany_Against_Fear