Acceptance is taking things as they are, without needing to change or protest them. This doesn’t mean you have to like it or agree to it. Just acknowledging that they exist the way they exist can be freeing and lead to personal growth and healing. The focus in this article is on events that are beyond your control; situations that have already happened in the past and experiences that are outside your realm of control in the present. Specifically, the desire to change other people.
The amount of energy spent on lamenting the past and trying to control or change others to fix the present can be draining on the soul. The persistence to change the world now, even though the pain is high, and the energy is low, can cause individuals to burn out or fall into depression. I am a strong advocate for standing up for the rights of others and myself, however, there is a line where individuals begin working against their own well being; be it spiritually, mentally and/or emotionally.
Unlike Back to the Future, Being Ericka or other shows of that ilk, there is no time warp that will take us back to a pivotal point in our history in order to shift the course of our life. If it was possible like in “A Wonderful Life”, we notice that if we change one aspect of our life, we also change everything else and possibly miss out on aspects that we hold dear.
The reality is that we can’t go back and change the past. No amount of worrying or beating ourselves up for what happened will change it either. When we accept what has happened and find ways to see the positives that have come from that situation, we are able to release that burden. An example of shifting perspective to see the positives could include someone remembering all the rejection they felt going door to door. The positive to this is that you know now that you can survive being told no. Then continue to adjust how you present yourself confidently until people say yes or start to listen.
It is also natural to want to change other people so our lives can be better or different. A long time ago I was at a conference and a mental health specialist made a comment that has always stayed with me. He pointed to his fingers and said, “Fingers in is within your control. Fingers out (into the world) is beyond your control.” This is quite liberating as it is a reminder that your thoughts and actions are the only things that you can control. You no longer need to feel like you are responsible for fixing or changing others.
How much energy and frustration were there in trying to save, fix or change others?
What could this energy give you if you were to focus it on what you wanted for yourself?
When we focus on what we can change in our lives, we take back control of our own destiny. If you are not happy with your situation what is within your power to change?
Acceptance of what has happened in life so far and accepting people for who they are is liberating. Focus the energy now of what you need to build, grow and strengthen yourself for now. When you have built up your energy and resilience you will be in a better position to advocate for the things you are passionate about.
What would be beneficial for you to accept and release from your life?