Trust is such a fragile thing.  It takes years to build and seconds to lose. 
What is trust?  Why is it so important?  How do we rebuild it after it has been lost?
As I was musing on writing this article, I would interchange truth with trust.  The reason for this is that they are deeply intertwined.  The Oxford Dictionary defines trust as “the belief that somebody/something is good, sincere, honest, etc. and will not try to harm or trick you” or “the belief that something is true or correct or that you can rely on it”.  Woven through these definitions is the connection with truth.
Trust is something that is reliable, knowing what to expect from a given situation or person.  Humans are animals too, and we are relaxed by consistent patterns.  It frees us up to be vigilant about other less predictable parts of our lives.  This helps us to relax our reactive reptilian brain and calms our emotional mammalian brain, and allows us to fully think and express ourselves through our rational frontal cortex.  The reason why it takes so long to build trust is that all parts of our brain are testing for consistent patterns.  Those who have had trust broken in the past will be very quick to put people back at square one, where others who have not had a significant break in trust will see any break in pattern as an anomaly to be watched, but not enough to create a full setback. 
Trust really is elusive and can mean different things to different people, but it really breaks down into three categories. 

1. Trust in the world or larger community – Is there a predictable rhythm to how the world works, and are the patterns unfolding as we expect?  In general, do we view the world as a safe place or that we expect things from the world at large, our country or our community?
2. Trust in our relationships with others – are there people in our lives who have our best interests at heart?  Is there trust, understanding, healthy boundaries and respect with those we consider closest to us, be they friends or relatives?
3. Trusting ourselves – are we making decisions that support the life we want? Are we setting healthy boundaries, so our own needs are being considered?  Are we being honest and authentic with ourselves?

When considering the questions in each of these areas, it is plain to see where we have work to do when it comes to trust.  For some, it may be in all areas. 
What kind of trust do you want in these three areas of your life? 
What is the difference between the trust you want and the level of trust you presently have?
Noticing where you are and where you want to be is an important first step. 
Further steps can be made through different activities on your own or with professional support. 
How do you want to move forward with trust?
 
 
 Oxford Learners Dictionary Online - https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/trust_1?q=trust
 
PsychCentral - https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-is-trust-important#5

During the late summer and into the fall I have offered Support by Donation to the general public.  The reason for this was two fold.  Firstly the most common reason I hear from people seeking help but not committing had to do with funds.  I wanted to remove a barrier for individuals to move forward in their lives and see if money was truly the barrier.  The second reason was that it was renewal time for my International Coach Federation credentials.  I only needed 96 more paid hours to qualify to reach the next level of qualification - 440 paid hours and 60 pro-Bono hours.
What did I find out from this experience?  Money is rarely the real issue behind not moving forward.  It is fear and limiting beliefs in what is possible.  Most people were very generous with their donations.  Many people wanted to help me make my hours and that was their motivation for signing up for sessions.  They left with great insights and solid next steps as they move forward in their lives. 
THANK YOU to everyone who took a chance and said yes to this offer.  It was a pleasure to work with you and to walk this part of your journey together. 
Even though I have wrapped up the Support by Donation program today, please know that if you are motivated to make a shift in your life that there are options to help you on this journey.  Just give me a call or send me an email to find out how.
[email protected] 226-838-9772

How often have we heard the word resilience in the past year?  In difficult times we are expected to have this illusive thing called resilience.  What is it?  How do we bring it into our lives? 
Psychology Today defines resilience as, “the psychological quality that allows some people to be knocked down by the adversities of life and come back at least as strong as before. Rather than letting difficulties, traumatic events, or failure overcome them and drain their resolve, highly resilient people find a way to change course, emotionally heal, and continue moving toward their goals.”  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/resilience . 
I had an opportunity to create a presentation on resilience to a group locally.   I asked the participants prior to the session to define what resilience meant to them personally.  Many used words like survival, persistence, and putting up a good fight.  Others described it as a bouncing back, a sense of refocusing, patience and adaptation.  It is interesting to see these two perspectives.  So, what is behind the difference in how we relate to resilience?  The short answer is intention.
When we are in a challenging situation and our intention behind resilience is FEAR, we have a fight and survive response.  We tend to be closed and protective of ourselves and those close to us and we rely on how we have always managed challenging times.  When our intention within a challenging situation is to approach it with CURIOSITY then we tend to use the language of opportunity, bouncing back and growth.  Here we tend to be more open and searching for new ways of adjusting to a challenge.  There is more a sense of choice here.
Some individuals are more naturally resilient even after living extremely challenging lives.  Others can feel trapped in what feels like an unending loop with the same challenges and reactions – kind of like a looping Ground Hog Day.  Resilience that lifts us out of this loop can be cultivated by shifting the thought patterns or intentions that we naturally go to when we are presented with challenges. 
If you are interested in finding out more about how to create resilience in your life please contact me for details on this live workshop on April 24, 2021 at 3 pm Eastern Time (Toronto, Canada).  I will be providing this for no cost for this one time and then as a recorded workshop in the Listening Tree Academy as a self study.